In life, we all have our own journey. Some journeys cross, some are parallel, and others are intertwined, but each of us has our own. As we travel through, we forget pieces. We remember the whole, the big picture, the outcomes, but there are pieces we forget. Our journey to Baby H is a big one in our lives. It’s one of those defining chapters in our journey. So, I write. I write to remember. Because, though the years are many and they have seemed long, the moments are fleeting and pass quicker with each blink.
So, this has been our journey…
-December 2012…Third abnormal PAP
-January 2013…Laparoscopy revealed abnormalities in reproductive structures. We were encouraged to begin trying to conceive and told not to try longer than 6 months on our own.
–Three and a half years later…
-September 2016…We didn’t listen to that “6-month” timeline and tried, and tried, and tried. We were referred to a Reproductive Endocrinologist by my husband’s doctor.
-October 31, 2016…Halloween, really? Yep, we were told at our first visit that IVF would likely be our only hope of having a baby. You know, the “torturous tubes and obstacle course” they found during the laparoscopy, those were the abnormalities, and apparently, you need those to work to have a baby, lol.
-October 31, 2016…Also on Halloween, my treat was having a hystersonogram (don’t knock the spelling-spell check says it’s unknown and I’m too lazy to Google). Which is another word for not fun!!! And there definitely wasn’t candy!
-November 29, 2016…We decided to “try” an IUI before jumping into IVF. Let’s just say I wasn’t ready to hear “IVF”. IUI Number 1=Big Fat Negative.
-December 2016…Because of Christmas, we missed our chance to do IUI Number 2 and “tried” on our own. Results=nada. No Christmas surprise here!
-January 18, 2017…IUI Number 2=nope didn’t stick.
-February 2017…I was feeling very rushed and pressured to move towards IVF. And I still wasn’t ready. I mean that’s a HUGE decision. So, we decided to take a break. And, by break I mean 14 weeks of acupuncture to my head, face, arms, legs, and stomach 3 days a week! Relaxing=not so much. Did it work for me=still no baby.
-October 2017…Returned for my annual PAP and Woo-hoo I had a normal one!!!
-October 2017…Medicated cycle without IUI=nope, not this month either.
-November 11, 2017…IUI #3=Follicles looked good, lining looked good, but no baby.
-November 2017…Medicated cycle=no baby.
-December 6, 2017…IUI #4=same ol’ same ol’
-December 2017…Medicated cycle because of Christmas=no Christmas present this year either.
-January 8, 2018…My sweet cousin sent me the link for MCRM’s Meet and Greet in Springfield. My MIL attended and I felt like this was where we were supposed to be.
-February 2, 2018…First appointment with Dr. Ahlering.
-February 16, 2018…Labs, labs, and more labs. Another fun ultrasound. And, a follow-up with Dr. Ahlering.
-March 6, 2018…Results of my genetic carrier test. Oh, have ya ever heard of homocystinuria? Well, neither had I but if I’m going to be a carrier of something you’d better believe it’s gonna have a funny name and be rare!
-March 7, 2018…Medication class. You know the one where you get to learn how to inject meds into your own stomach on a daily basis! Sounds like a lotta fun, right?
-March 9, 2018…Meds delivered. When they say overnight, they’re not joking around!
-March 14, 2018…Cycle Day 1 means First Day of Birth Control…When you start trying to have a baby you think you’ve left this in the past, but nope it finds it’s way back into your life with IVF
-March 20, 2018…Baseline testing
-March 21, 2018…Last day of Birth Control! First pre-stimulation injection. So many shots to come.
-March 26, 2018…First Day of First Round of Stims…More and more and more shots to come.
-March 30, 2018…Blood work + new medication
-April 2, 2018…First follicle check
-April 4, 2018…Second follicle check & more blood work
-April 5, 2018…IVF Day 11=last box of Gonal
-April 6, 2018…Last day of shots…trigger night!
-April 9, 2018 @ 9:15 a.m….Egg Retrieval Day!!! 15 Eggs Retrieved…13 Matured…10 Fertilized
-April 16, 2018…1 embaby made it to the freezer and to genetic testing
-April 20, 2018…Second round of Birth Control started
-April 30, 2018…PGS testing revealed our one precious embaby’s genetics were “abnormal.” IVF done…….
Fast forward two years….And we waited, we prayed, we trusted, we hoped, we believed, and we put our faith in the One who is writing our story…
-January 23, 2020…I went to a chiropractor who specializes in Chinese medicine and infertility at the urging of my MIL. Natural treatments=a big fat negative pregnancy test in the Dr.’s office. I knew it would be negative. I didn’t want to take it, but she needed verification before the “treatment.” You see, after so many years of failed pregnancy tests, you quit taking them. It’s easier to not see the negative.
-January 23, 2020…On the way home from that appointment, alone in the car, I told God I was done. I couldn’t do it anymore. If it was just me, Travis, and LuLu the Shih Tzu for the rest of our lives–we were going to be okay. I couldn’t handle the heartbreak of trying again, and again, and again. The monthly heartache was too much for me to go back to.
-After the appointment…sometime after that appointment on our way to work I broke down and told my Mom how I felt. She listened, but she did more than that. She prayed, she fasted, and she took the journey over when I couldn’t handle it anymore.
-But, I was done. God knew I was done. He knew I couldn’t do it on my own. And, that’s what he was waiting for. You see, I thought I’d given it to him. I thought I trusted Him, but until I said the words, “God, I can’t do this anymore.” I wasn’t giving it to Him. I was still trying to control it-control the outcome-write our story. But, when I uttered those words–He went to work bigger, better, and faster than anything I’ve ever seen!
For 2, 615 days we had prayed. From the time of my first laproscopy until March 13, 2020 our prayers to grow our family continued. Then, He answered.
-March 13, 2020…We found out from a very dear friend, Beth Duncan, that there may be a baby girl needing a family to adopt her.
And, that’s where Our Infertility Story became Our Adoption Story, or better yet, God’s Adoption Story because He is the author and this is His story, we’re just the characters.
-March 14, 2020…I spoke with the biological grandmother and the birth mom for the first time.
-March 16, 2020…I received sonogram pictures and found out the BM was 28 weeks!
-March 19, 2020…We met with our adoption attorney. And, the sweet baby girl has a name! Cora Lou Heithaus. She is named after some pretty special people in our lives.
-March 20, 2020…We signed our Petition for Guardianship and the Birth Mom signed a Consent for Guardianship.
-March 26, 2020…Cora Lou is 31 weeks!
-March 29, 2020…We took pictures and made our public adoption announcement!
-April 4, 2020…My cousins threw me a small baby shower in the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic that is surrounding us. We kept it under the 10 people gathering restriction and practiced safe social distancing.
-April 7, 2020…Cora Lou is now 33 weeks! We’re so excited to meet her, but we want her to keep growing!
-April 15, 2020…We’re getting closer. Cora’s BM says she has “dropped” and the Doctor says it could be “soon.” We’re praying for a healthy BM and baby girl!