A Letter to My Husband as We Start IVF

To You,

When we met on my 21st birthday, I never expected that night would bloom into a marriage. But, here we are 8 1/2 years later. We both came into this marriage with hearts full of past hurts, but somehow we have made a way to heal our hurts together.

Over the past several years, our marriage has grown in strength, friendship, and love. You are my best friend. We’ve had ups and downs, lost friends, lost family, made more friends, added to our families, traveled A LOT, and grown together.  Each step we’ve taken, we’ve taken together.  And, with or without a baby we’ll be okay.

Our journey to Baby H has spanned several years with the past two being by far the most difficult emotionally, physically, and spiritually. But, with each failed month, each failed medication, each failed IUI, and every negative pregnancy test you’ve been there to pick me up. You’ve seen and felt how hard this journey is because you are living it with me every. single. day. And, I don’t know how I’d get through it without you-literally! You’re kinda an important piece of this journey!

This month we start the next and biggest chapter of our journey to Baby H. Last year, when the Doctor told us IVF was likely our only hope you were there to hold my hand and listen to my tears when I wasn’t ready to hear that.  You reassured me that we’d get through this.  That we’d get through this.  That I’d be okay.  Now, over a year later, I’ve come to a place of peace with knowing this will be our journey. And, through each step, you’ve been right there with me.  Picking me up after each disappointing month.  Getting me my ice cream after blood work.  Driving us to appointments.  And, keeping me going.

When we took our vows I never expected this would be the “hard times” the preacher spoke about. I never imagined the word “infertility” would cast its shadow over our marriage. But, I will be eternally grateful that you are with me through this. These next several weeks are going to be rough, but you’re used to my moodiness, whininess, and my tears. Together we can do this. And, hopefully, there will be a Baby H in our future sooner rather than later.

All my love,




P.S. If you’re a fellow infertility sister, I’d love to hear your story and add you to my prayer list. Infertility is lonely in a world full of babies so, it’s nice knowing you’re not alone.

P.P.S. If you’re in the midst of a trial or you are releasing your expectations, I’d love to hear from you and add you to my prayer list, too.

2 thoughts on “A Letter to My Husband as We Start IVF

  1. Hi. Your letter really spoke to me. I know Exactly how you feel. I loved your post with the memes. So many of your post felt like you were reading my mind. My husband and I have been trying for over 5 years so I get it. I trust Gods plan is best but it’s so difficult sometimes. Our fertility doctor made it seem like IVF would be a surefire way for us to get pregnant. I did it last year and it didn’t work. I will certainly pray for you and your husband. It was really encouraging to find someone that gets it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words! Last month, started our sixth year of trying. Infertility sucks. It’s hard. And, it’s often very lonely. The first few years we didn’t talk about it much to anyone besides our close friends and family, but the longer we’ve been on this journey the more I’ve felt the need to talk about it. And, I hoped and prayed that there would be others who could identify with me, who get it, and who are longing to not feel so alone in this journey. I know God has a plan, but the wait is often so hard. I’ll be praying for you and your husband, too.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s