Dear Sweet Sister,
I see you. You aren’t alone. I know Christmas is tough for you. It’s tough for me, too.
I know you had your heart set on this being “the year.” You’ve had your special announcement planned out for months or, if you’re like me, years. I know your perfect Christmas wish can’t be found wrapped under the tree. But, instead of celebrating your announcement you’re still standing on the side line watching with tears in your eyes and an empty womb. You put on a brave face and make the comments on FB or IG about how happy you are for the soon to be parents all while the emotions swirl.
Happiness. Sadness. Fear. Defeat. Guilt. Patience. Impatience. Yearning. Jealousy. Resilience. Loneliness. Nervousness. Hopelessness. Hope. Despair. Tiredness. Anxiety. Bitterness. Worthlessness. Brokenness. Faith.
You see, dear sister, I’ve felt them all. Just like you. Infertility is a strange world. If you haven’t lived it, you’ll never understand. I never knew you could feel so many emotions at the same time, but I have and I know you have, too. I see you carrying the weight of infertility all while smiling with grace. I know how heavy the weight is and you’re not carrying it alone.
So, as you scroll through your feed and you see yet another announcement, you toss one more negative test in the trash, or you spend your holidays surrounded by little feet that aren’t yours know this-I see you. I feel for you. And, you’re not in this alone.
This isn’t “the year” for me and only the One who is writing my story knows what year will be mine, but I stand in faith that whatever His plan it is good. I’m standing in faith for you, too. So, dear sister, wipe your eyes, hold your chin up, and give those hard feelings away. Hold fast to your hope, stand in faith, and believe in the answer to your prayer. And, remember that the true joy of Christmas isn’t found wrapped in pretty paper under the tree. The true joy of. Christmas was wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger many, many years ago.
I’m praying that one day soon you’ll be sharing your announcement with the world, too! And, when you do, I can’t wait to give you the most sincere and loving congratulations because I know this journey has already created one amazing Mama.
Merry Christmas waiting Mama! May your Christmas be full of love, peace, understanding, grace, hope, and faith. May your new year be full of blessings and the fulfillment of prayed prayers. And, may you remember the joy and hope that Jesus brought with His birth.
“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” -Lamentations 3:25-26
P.S. If you’re a fellow infertility sister, I’d love to hear your story and add you to my prayer list. Infertility is lonely in a world full of babies so, it’s nice knowing you’re not alone.
P.P.S. If you’re struggling this Christmas season with a waiting to be answered prayer, no this, you aren’t alone. Waiting prayers are hard. I’d love to pray for you, too.