Waiting is not my favorite thing to do. Is it anybody’s favorite thing? We live in a fast paced society. Everything comes in an instant. Delivery food, Amazon purchases, want to rent a movie?, it’ll be downloaded to your TV in 30 seconds. Even my morning coffee comes out of my Keurig in less than a couple minutes. So, what’s the deal with waiting?
The one thing that you can’t get in the snap of your fingers is the one thing my heart longs for the most. Five and a half years my husband and I have been waiting. We haven’t let the wait consume us, but it’s always there sitting on your shoulder leading to doubt. Doubt that my wait will ever end. Doubt leaving me wondering where my faithful God is. Have you not heard my cries? You say, “Ask and it shall be given,” and “Where two agree,” but my womb is still empty. But, this morning during my quiet time, you heard me. My devotional was exactly what I needed to hear. I’m finishing up my study on Psalms and this morning I was reading Psalm 27. Do you remember this one? You know where David is crying out to the Lord for all his goodness and that we are to seek Him? We have nothing to fear because the Lord is with us, the Lord will lift my head up above my enemies, is it ringing a bell yet? If you haven’t read it in a while go grab your Bible and jump in to it. I’ll wait! Did ya read it? Are ya finished? Okay, let’s get back to it.
David talks about not fearing his enemies because the Lord is his strength and shelter. Fear leads to worry, worry leads to doubt. If I believe in the goodness and faithfulness of my Lord then, what do I have to fear? My faith is bigger than my infertility. And, this morning I needed to be reminded of that simple fact. And, right there at the end of Psalm 27, the last verse, I heard my Lord.
“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; Wait for the Lord!”
You see, I can be confident in my wait because the Lord is faithful. I know His plan is greater than my plan. My story is not my story, but His story. And, in my wait I will seek Him. I will be confident in expecting my miracle because I know my God hears me and will never fail me. As I go out to yet another fertility appointment I know the Lord is with me in my season of wait and that in my wait I will continue to trust in Him.
P.S. If you’re a fellow infertility sister, I’d love to hear your story and add you to my prayer list. Infertility is lonely in world full of babies so, it’s nice knowing you’re not alone.