It’s the morning after Christmas and my home is quiet as a mouse, with the exception of my dear husband who is still snoring away. The fur-baby is nestled snuggly at his feet and I’m sitting here with my coffee waiting for them to both wake up.
And as I sit here and think about yesterday, my heart is full of moments spent with family, its full of thankfulness for the gift of our Savior, and it’s full of plans for the day to come, but in reality, my heart is still longing for the gift I didn’t receive. I knew it wasn’t coming this year, this wasn’t my year, it wasn’t my turn-yet. And, I know I’m not alone. I know out there in this big world that there’s another one of you like me whose heart is longing, whose arms are empty. And, I want you to know that you are not alone. Your emptiness may come from a different hollow in your heart. It may not be infertility, but it may be the miscarriage, the loss of your baby, the loss of a child, the loss of a parent, or the loss of your spouse. But, dear one you are not alone.
If you spent this Christmas, like the ones before, with only the wish of holding your sweet baby in those Christmas family photos I want you to know that you are not alone. If you’re feeling a sense of detachment, if you’re feeling left out, if you’re feeling rejected, if you’re left feeling depressed-you’re not alone. Dear one, I get it. I didn’t get my Christmas wish this year either. And after over 5 years of waiting, you begin to question-Will it ever be my year? But, dear one, I want you to know that you are not alone. In whatever season you are in, whether it is waiting, grief, trial, or triumph-you are not alone.
The Bible tells us,
“Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”-Deuteronomy 31:6
Our Father is a good Father, He is with you-even when you feel alone-He is with you. Even when my heart is breaking because I still haven’t received the Christmas miracle my heart so desperately desires-I am not alone. So, dear one, remember even if you didn’t get your Christmas wish-you are not alone. This wasn’t your year either and that’s okay because we’ve not been told no, just not yet. I stand on this promise that my yet is coming.
“None shall miscarry or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days.” -Exodus 23:26
So, my sincerest prayer for you is that your heart is filled with peace. That our Good Father wraps His loving arms around you and you feel His presence. That you feel you are not alone.
P.S. If you’re a fellow infertility sister, I’d love to hear your story and add you to my prayer list. Infertility is lonely in a world full of babies so, it’s nice knowing you’re not alone.
P.P.S. If you’re in the midst of loneliness, I’d love to hear from you and add you to my prayer list, too. You are not alone.